10 Things Every Adult Should Know

f*cking c*nts because there are far too many of them in this world

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Sometimes it's hard to come up with a full-length, balls-to-the-wall rant, but a lot of "too long for Twitter, too short for a whole post" ideas float in and out of my head all the time. Here's 10 things every adult really ought to know, but a lot of people are apparently just too fucking stupid to figure out:

1. Having sex can cause pregnancy. This one seems too obvious to mention, but judging from the number of accidental children in the world, I thought it bore repeating. Nothing is 100% effective against pregnancy except abstinence, or the removal of your ovaries or testicles. (Incidentally, abortion is still legal in the US and most of Europe, just in case.)
2. If you cover your face with piercing jewelry, you may not be able to find a job. This also goes for doing weird things to your hair, and getting tattoos in conspicuous places. And for fuck's sake, don't give me any bullshit about "freedom of expression", you little dumbass. You go right ahead and express yourself all you want, but body modification is not a constitutionally protected belief system. They can't not hire you for being a Jew, but they certainly can not hire you for looking like a fucking freak. (caveat: I have both piercings and tattoos … nothing against tattoos, piercings or fucking freaks. Just don't whine about it when you're treated like one.)
3. It's 2008. Racism is seriously outdated. That means, yes Virginia, it is TOTALLY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE to refer to that black guy on TV as a "junglebunny." Also, don't use the word "they" as though black folks are some separate species who all think and act the same way. They're "They" are humans, not dogs. And do I really need to remind you that "nigger" is a bad word?! Here's a nice rule of thumb for you, dearie: If you wouldn't say it to a black person's face, you probably shouldn't be saying it at all. (For those of you who really don't get it, this also applies to spics, pakis, chinks, gooks, jews kikes, towelheads, gringos and anyone else you care to slander.)
4. Spontaneous anal sex often involves small amounts of feces. Yes, yes it does. This point is mainly aimed at straight guys, who seem to have a frighteningly widespread lack of understanding on this issue. If you want your backdoor action all nice and sanitary, you need to plan ahead. Buy a little something called an anal douche, and find a way to gracefully suggest she use it before bed if you want a little booty nookie. If you just swap holes in the middle of the action, without such careful forethought, things often get messy … because guys, it's a butt, and [big secret]there's poop in there[/big secret]. And as long as we're on the subject of anal …
5. Anal sex does not make you gay. Again, for the benefit of you straight boys. Even if you secretly want your girlfriend to bend you over with a strap on, it's OK. You're not gay. You know why? Because you want to be assfucked by a girl, not a boy. That's what the whole "gay" thing is about: Liking boys instead of girls. Anal sex is irrelevant. [added]I am a straight white female … and fwiw, I have never given it to anyone with a strap-on. I just also happen to NOT be an ignorant homophobic twat.[/added]
6. Marijuana is not a "gateway drug". Oh sure, maybe 99% of "hard" drug users also smoke pot. And maybe a lot of them smoked pot before they got into crack or heroin or whatever. But that's not because the pot made them do it, it's because damn near fucking everyone has smoked pot at some point.
7. Creationism is bullshit. Seriously. A big magic guy in the clouds did not wiggle his fingers and create the earth in 6 days. Didn't fucking happen. And I think anyone who professes to believe such a thing ought to be barred from political office. What if there was a religion claiming the world was flat, and the whole "round" thing was just an optical illusion created by God to test our faith? Would ANYONE be suggesting we teach it in schools? Would anyone vote for a politician who claimed to believe it? For fuck's sake, people. It's 2008. We have fossils. We have carbon dating. Get a clue!
8. You have no right to be proud, unless you did it yourself. That goes for anything from racial pride to patriotism. Your race, gender and nationality are fucking accidents of birth. Being proud of something you got stuck with when mamma squeezed you out is stupid. You have a right to be proud of your own personal accomplishments, and perhaps those of your children (if you were actually a good parent, and your kids didn't succeed by sheer bloody-mindedness alone). That's it. Your parents fucked, Mom got knocked up, and ~9 months later, there you were. Race, gender and nationality handed to you out of some cosmic lottery machine. Fuck your white pride, black pride, national pride, and all the horseshit that goes along with it.
9. Police and Politicians have a lot in common. Maybe half of them go into their chosen careers wanting to genuinely do good. Save people, and make the world a better place and all that. The other half are greedy, power-hungry fucks. And the good half? After a few years on the job, most of them have become so corrupted and/or insulated from the real world, they become vicious, rotten twats too. You can't trust 90% of either of 'em.
10. America is not #1. Well, not unless you count military spending and handgun related deaths. We're shit at public education. Our health care system is both the most expensive and the least effective in the developed world. Literacy, infant mortality, per capita living below the poverty line and/or without any health insurance … etc., etc. We're kind of horrible at a whole lot of things, if you want to be honest about it. We're also, on average, fat as fuck.

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7 Kinds of SEX!

I buddy of mine passed this on to me on Facebook tonight & I just had to post it

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called Smurf Sex.

• This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called Kitchen Sex.

• This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called Bedroom Sex.

• This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called Hallway Sex.

• This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the Hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called Religious Sex.

• Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.

• This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least,

The 7th kind of sex is called Canada Pension Sex.

• You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy your self.
  

Technorati Tags: Sex,Lists,7 Kinds of sex

Have You Fallen for these 7 Negative Attitudes Pushed by the Media?

The following came from   john place online . com

The Pursuit of Happiness in the Modern World

Like it or not, we live in a media driven world. We spend on average 11 hours a day bombarded by television, radio, Internet, and other forms of media, a non-stop onslaught on the psyche, an ever-churning series of images, sound bites, opinions, and advertisements, but precious little substance.

The media provides shared experience, collective memory. Unfortunately, many of the ideas we’re exposed to are negative and self-defeating. The pervasiveness of these negative ideas makes them hard to ignore; easy to internalize.
If you’re curious about the cumulative effect of all this media upon the mind, here’s a list of 7 negative attitudes common in the media and tips for dealing with them.

1. Mindless Consumerism: The average American is exposed to 247 commercials everyday. Buying things has become reflex, due partly to the ideal lifestyle flickering on the television: big house, giant SUV, three-car garage, flat-panel television. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying life, but are you buying things to improve your life? Or to compensate for feelings of emptiness? Find something to believe in; fill the void with something real.

2. Poor Body Image: Never before in history have we been surrounded by so many examples of physical perfection, shaped by cosmetic surgeons, airbrushed by artists, and distributed by print and video. Remind yourself that fitness is more important than perfection. And while it’s true that Americans outside the media are fatter than ever, even physically fit individuals struggle with a poor body image. Yes, attractiveness is an advantage, but your value runs deeper than your appearance, and those actors don’t look half as good without make-up and lighting.

3. Roaming Eye: Television gives everyone (men in particular) the idea that the world is overflowing with beautiful, willing sex partners; even if it’s true (which depends largely upon your own skills with the opposite sex), that roaming eye, that tendency to want what you don’t have, can be destructive if not monitored and controlled. Like all the elements in this list, human nature is the root here. Remind yourself that relationships are built upon more than physical attraction.

4. Destructive Communication: Electronic media brims with insults and anger. On message boards, gentle persuasion has collapsed beneath the weight of incivility. In real life, victory is seldom obtained with witty one-liners or rude put-downs. Hone those communication skills. Learn to Persuade without offending. Connect.

5. Clique Mentality: As if cliques weren’t prevalent enough, television programs often have casts that are socially, ethnically, and racially homogenous. That’s fine; it’s free enterprise at work, for the most part, and not every story involves a melting pot. I make no bones about it; I’m simply reminding everyone not to be afraid of diversity in the real world.

6. Stereotypes: As evolved as we believe we are, television is overflowing with stereotypes: the dumb jock, the bubble-headed blonde, the geek with a pocket protector, all products of lazy writing. Most of us are smart enough to recognize a stereotype for what it is, but I question the subconscious impact of such repeated exposure. The best defence is to remind yourself that every human being deserves to be evaluated as an individual, no matter how prevalent or justified a stereotype might seem.

7. Danger Fixation: We’re wired to pay attention to danger, which is why the Discovery Channel broadcasts so many programs that show the world being destroyed by tsunamis, earthquakes, and giant asteroids; why the news leads with gunfire and bloodshed. Remind yourself that there are just as many positive forces in the world as negative; your focus on the negative is a matter of personal choice and perspective.

Listen, I’m not trying to say all media is bad; it’s not. Movies in particular can be wonderful works of art or much-needed distractions, and there’s nothing inherently evil about television, radio, print, or the Internet; quite the contrary, all forms of media provide wonderful channels of communication. I’m simply saying that the media’s darker side is bound to seep into our collective conscience; it surrounds us. And we’re receptive to it.

Earlier this year, I watched a short film entitled Evidence. More art film than documentary, the film focused on the faces of a group of small children as they watched television: their blank expressions, comatose eyes. Every now and then, their facial expressions hitched in response to some image on the television, but for the most part, they appeared undead.

I’ve never forgotten that film. And now, whenever I’m watching a sitcom or game show, I think of the way my own face must look, staring blankly up at the glowing screen. Sometimes, this compels me to turn the tube off and go outside, exchanging the gloom of the TV room for the calming brightness of sunlight, the sound of commercials for the chirping of birds; detaching from the hive mind long enough to find some peace and quiet and develop some memories (and a few ideas) of my own.

Technorati Tags: 7 negitive attitudes,Media,Lists,john pace online.com

You don't have to be from the Maritimes per say, but if . . .

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2."Vacation" means going to Moncton for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4.You know several people who have hit a deer.

5. You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You use a down filled comforter in the summer.

7. Your Grandparents drive 100 km through 13 feet of snow during raging blizzard without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

9.You install security lights on both your house and garage and go and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as: Meat, Fish and Tim Horton's.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.

12. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot of the Canadian Tire store at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. Your lingerie consists of tube socks and flannel pajamas.

16. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.

17. It takes three hours to go to the store for one item, even when you're in a hurry because you have to stop and talk to everybody in town.

And Finally: You know you live in the Maritimes when...

18. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from the Maritimes.

Technorati Tags: Joke,You know your a Maritimer,Peoplearefunnylikethat

The Best: Geek Sports — Segway Polo, Anyone?

By Mathew Honan 11.27.07 | 12:00 AM

Illustration: Barry Blitt

Start

1) Race walking
The sporting equivalent of marching band. Inhaler required.

2) Segway Polo
The only sport in the world in which Woz (and his trusty personal transporter) could make the A team.

3) Badminton
When tennis balls get silly drunk, they dress up like shuttlecocks.

4) Hacky Sack
Based on our exhaustive research of this game, prog-rock T-shirts and ponytails aren't mandatory, but they help.

5) Curling
More a physics exercise than physical exercise. Bonus: tracksuits.

6) Jousting
Armor + the potential for internal hemorrhaging = pretty cool. If only the Ren Faire were every weekend.

7) Fencing
The fake swords — they're actually fake lightsabers. (Jedi mind trick.)

8) Disc Golf
In an ideal world, we would all put down our clubs and pick up a disc. Frolf, anyone?

Previous: Star Wars-Obsessed Rocket Geeks Build and Launch an X-Wing Fighter

next: Japanese Schoolgirl Watch: OMG! MMORPG on My Cell Phone!

      

Technorati Tags: geek sports,list,Wierd

Plaskett fills his ECMA basket

Rocker wins six categories; Canyon picked top entertainer
By STEPHEN COOKE Entertainment Reporter for

The Halifax Chronicle Herald
Mon. Feb 11 - 6:33 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Joel Plaskett has been a Halifax Star for several years & I love his music and the pure energy of his live performances. Its clear that his band is having a blast on stage & the crowd is always pleased. If you ever have the chance ... GO SEE JOEL PLASKET ... you'll never regret the Experience.

Joel Plaskett performs at the East Coast Music Awards show at the Aitken centre in Fredericton on Sunday. (INGRID BULMER / Staff)

FREDERICTON — Halifax rocker Joel Plaskett traded in an ashtray for an armload of East Coast Music Awards on Sunday night, winning a record-breaking six silver trophies at the 20th anniversary of the annual ceremony held in Fredericton’s Aitken Centre.

Ashtray Rock, the Joel Plaskett Emergency’s concept album about teenage hijinks, young love and friendship in suburban Halifax was named the FACTOR recording, group recording and rock recording of the year, while the tune Fashionable People earned the indie-music icon group single, video and SOCAN songwriter of the year honours.

"It’s humbling," admitted Plaskett after the gala, still a bit jet lagged from a five-week solo tour of Australia. "It’s really flattering and kind of embarass-ing at the same time.

""We set out to make a record as ridiculous and ambitious as possible, and I’m glad it paid off creatively and captivated the imagination of everyone who listened.""

Plaskett’s big night tops the five ECMAs won in one evening by artists including Lennie Gallant in 1995, Ashley MacIsaac in 1997, Bruce Guthro in 1999 and Great Big Sea for Sea of No Cares in 2003.

It’s been a good week for Plaskett; his sardonic hit Fashionable People also picked up a Billboard World Song Contest honour in the pop category on Thursday.

I like to write about where I’m from, I think any good writer tries to do that," said the Clayton Park-raised musician. ""I like to think I captured something of that in a fictional account of growing up in suburbia.""

The only other multiple winners Sunday, with two apiece, were fellow Nova Scotians Dave Gunning, Cherry Brook R&B favourite Jamie Sparks and the reunited Rankins.

Pictou County bard Gunning’s House for Sale was named the male solo recording and folk recording of the year.

""I did not expect this, it was a surprise,"" said Gunning backstage. ""I’m writing a lot right now, getting ready for the next record, but I’m certainly proud of this one.""

The Rankin Family’s Reunion CD was picked for roots/traditional group recording of the year, while the video chronicle of the Cape Breton family band’s live show, Back Stage Pass, earned DVD of the year.

""This is quite the honour . . . I can’t seem to shake this band,"" grinned Jimmy Rankin after stepping to the podium for the DVD award.

""(This reunion) is something I thought would never happen, so on behalf of all the Rankins, thank you very much. This one’s for John Morris.""

Other Nova Scotia winners included country star George Canyon, picking up the coveted fan-voted entertainer of the year honour, Juno Award-nominated MC Classified for rap/hip-hop single track recording for Hard to be Hip-Hop and Halifax-based singer-songwriter Rose Cousins in the female solo recording category.

Up-and-coming Sackville performer Chelsea Nisbett won gospel recording for her debut CD New Beginnings, which has already won an African-Nova Scotian Music Award and a Music Nova Scotia Award in recent months.

""I’m shocked, when I first had the idea of making an album all I just thought of it as something people could buy at my shows,"" said the petite singer-songwriter backstage.

""But since it came out it’s been one opportunity after another, meeting more people playing more shows, things are really starting to develop.""

Besides the Rankins, Nova Scotian Celtic music performers winning ECMAs included Antigonish’s Troy MacGillivray for instrumental recording for Live From the Music Room and Cape Breton fiddler Kimberley Fraser for roots/traditional solo recording for Falling on New Ground.

Former Slainte Mhath singer Stephanie Hardy was blessed with the CBC Galaxie Rising Star Award (which comes with a $5,000 prize) for her contemporary songwriting on Brand New Skin.

Veteran Halifax pianist Bill Stevenson earned jazz recording of the year for For the Record, recorded with his nephew, Hot Toddy bassist Tom Easley, while Hot Toddy singer/guitarist Thom Swift got props for his solo debut, Into the Dirt, named blues recording of the year.

""I’ve been with Hot Toddy for about 10 years, and after a while you build up a blanket of security,"" said New Brunswick native Easley to reporters. ""Like any successful group, you need those outside influences to keep growing.

"I’ve been playing with Bill since I was a teenager, and I think if you’re a real musician, you want to keep playing until you can’t play any more."

Hosted by This Hour Has 22 Minutes wit Mark Critch, the two-hour gala featured performances by Joel Plaskett Emergency, hearty Newfoundland folk band Shanneygannock, Jimmy Rankin, New Brunswick gospel group the Lapointes and alternative recording winner Nathan Wiley.

"The big news this year is that the CBC isn’t broadcasting the awards live," said Critch, to a chorus of boos from the crowd.

"Oh, you don’t have to tell me, I work for the CBC, I’ve seen the ratings. But not being on the CBC means more people than ever will see the ECMAs!""

Halifax band Wintersleep, which followed Plaskett with five nominations, unfortunately left the Aitken Centre trophy-less.

However, the show was a great showcase for the broad variety of New Brunswick performers, including country recording winners the Divorcees, fiddler Samantha Robichaud, Swift and Moncton rocker Chris Colepaugh and the Cosmic Crew.

A special honour of the evening was presented to New Brunswick’s Acadian music pioneers 1755. The group’s achiviements in popularizing Atlantic Canadian Francophone music earned it the Dr. Helen Creighton Lifetime Achievement Award for a landmark career, taking its music across North America and over the Atlantic between 1977 and 1984.

Earlier on Sunday afternoon, the East Coast Music Association honoured behind-the-scenes figures and music business builders with its annual Industry Awards.

The sound technician of the year, engineer Mike Shepherd from Cape Breton’s much-honoured Lakewind Sound studio seemed pleased that for once he wasn’t too busy to attend in person.

""I’d like to thank Fred Lavery and Gordie Sampson, the co-owners of Lakewind,"" he said. ""They’re my guys; working for them these past nine years has been absolutely amazing.""

Halifax photographer Chris Sm!th, the Funk Factor founder, had a few more people to thank after his win, rapidly reading off a list of clients as long as his black T-shirt clad arm.

Media person of the year went to veteran P.E.I. writer Doug Gallant of the daily Guardian newspaper, who remarked that his love of music has deep roots.

""The people in this industry really make it worth getting up in the morning,"" said the bearded island scribe. ""I’ve been around it since I was 14, hauling gear for acts like Sam Moon and Matt Minglewood and I can’t imagine a better industry to be involved in.""

Cape Breton’s Celtic Colours International Festival was named event of the year, and co-founder Max MacDonald was effusive in his praise of the ECMAs’ effect on the

AND THE ECMA GOES TO . . .

• Entertainer of the year: George Canyon
• Recording: Ashtray Rock (Joel Plaskett Emergency)
• Female solo recording: If You Were For Me (Rose Cousins)
• Group recording: Ashtray Rock (Joel Plaskett Emergency)
• Male solo recording: House For Sale (Dave Gunning)
• Rising Star recording: Brand New Skin (Stephanie Hardy)
• Group single: Fashionable People (Joel Plaskett Emergency)
• SOCAN songwriter: Joel Plaskett for Fashionable People (performed by Joel Plaskett Emergency)
• Video: Fashionable People directed by Randall Thorne (Joel Plaskett Emergency)
• DVD: Back Stage Pass (The Rankin Family)
• African-Canadian recording: It’s The Music (Jamie Sparks)
• Alternative recording: The City Destroyed Me (Nathan Wiley)
• Bluegrass recording: Saddle River String Band (Saddle River String Band)
• Blues recording: Into The Dirt (Thom Swift)
• Classical recording: Forbidden City Tour (New Brunswick Youth Orchestra)
• Country recording: You Ain’t Gettin’ My Country (The Divorcees)
• Francophone recording: 11:11 (Vishten)
• Folk recording: Looking Back — Vol. 2: House For Sale (Dave Gunning)
• Gospel recording: New Beginnings (Chelsea Nisbett)
• Instrumental recording: Live From the Music Room (Troy MacGillvray)
• Jazz recording: For The Record (Bill Stevenson & Tom Easley)
• Pop recording: Little Jabs (Two Hours Traffic)
• Rap/Hip-Hop single track recording: Hard To Be Hip Hop (Classified)
• Rock recording: Ashtray Rock (Joel Plaskett Emergency)
• Roots/Traditional group recording: Reunion (The Rankin Family)
• Roots/Traditional solo recording: Falling On New Ground (Kimberley Fraser)
• Urban Single track recording: If You Were (Jamie Sparks)
• Dr. Helen Creighton Lifetime Achievement Award: presented to New Brunswick group 1755

INDUSTRY AWARDS

• Graphic designer: Jessica Rhaye
• Photograper: Chr!s Sm!th
• Independent company: Sonic Entertainment Group
• Radio station (small market): 101.5 The Hawk, CIGO Port Hawkesbury
• Radio station (major market): Q104, Halifax
• Sound technician: Mike Shepherd
• Media person: Doug Gallant
• Broadcast: East Coast Countdown
• Volunteer: Valerie Hillier
• Industry builder: Marc Chouinard
• Retailer: CD Plus
• Label: Landwash Distribution
• Event: Celtic Colours International Festival
• Manager: Lynn Horne
• Musician’s achievement:
• Michael Doherty
• Industry professional: John Poirier

STOMPIN" TOM AWARDS

• Cape Breton: Aldun MacVicar
• New Brunswick: Ivan & Vivian Hicks Newfoundland & Labrador: The Ducats
• P.E.I.: The Tremtones
• Nova Scotia: Oakley

Technorati Tags: Joel Plasket,ECMA,Fredricton,The Halifax Chronical Herald,Guthro

A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys

 

 

 

 

http://ifaq.wap.org/sex/geekguide.html 

By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat geek guide See the Web site!

So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.

Why Geek Dudes Rule

• They are generally available.
• Other women will tend not to steal them.
• They can fix things.
• Your parents will love them.
• They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation.

Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.

Imprinting

You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...

The Trek factor

If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary. This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky-but-heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.

Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man: Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.

Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize.

To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

Post-It Note

I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt).

This exchange is interesting for several reasons:

Howard had already thought about who she was most like.

He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.

Victoria actually knew who he meant.

Folks, I think this marriage will last.

One Last Thing

Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet.

Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so.

Top 10 Startups Worth Watching in 2008

Top 10 Startups Worth Watching in 2008
By Julie Sloane 12.24.07 | 12:00 AM

Credit crunch? Recession risk? You'd never know it, judging by the frenzy of startup activity. In fact, it's a pretty good time to start a company. Generous payouts from Web 1.0 IPOs and more-recent acquisitions have given rise to a new generation of angel investors and venture capitalists. Plus, getting acquired by Google is an attractive and plausible exit strategy for many entrepreneurs. Those factors have combined to make a startup market almost as frothy as the dot-com bubble.

We say almost, because the spending is a bit less lavish than before, and because -- unlike 1999 -- many of the new crop of startups have real promise. Here are 10 pre-IPO, pre-acquisition companies worth watching in 2008.
23andMe

There's a lot you could buy with $1,000, but for that price 23andMe offers something never before sold to the masses: your DNA. Are you predisposed to prostate cancer? Glaucoma? Heart disease? 23andMe, profiled recently in Wired, can tell you. The implications could rock the medical world -- and the ethical one. As the science of genomics continues to improve, 23andMe should be able to provide ever-better information. In 2008, it will also provide social networking between customers who share traits ranging from ethnic origins to disease profiles.
Founders: Linda Avey and Anne Wojcicki
Funding: $12 million, from Genentech, Google and New Enterprise Associates
Employees: 30        Read More....